From the post:
This week I've been told—via several internet platforms—that I'm fat. I'm not offended by the insult. I'm offended by the idea that it's is a surefire way to hurt a woman's feelings. Can't you be more creative, internet?Agreed. It is kind of like being told you'll never find a man or get married. Instead of being hurt or sad, all I can think is "that's the best you can do?"
Being told that I'm fat by strangers on the internet is nothing new to me, and while I grappled with it initially, my skin eventually became thicker than whatever's on my upper arms. After awhile, I learned to ignore such comments, but there's been a recent influx of them via email, Twitter, and Facebook. I think it might be because I was in a video I posted for the first time in a while. Or maybe it's because I recently wrote about being annoyed by all the fat jokes that were made of Lisa Lampanelli at David Hasselhoff's roast. Whatever the reason, this new barrage of attacks on my appearance really irked me, but not in the way they were intended.First of all, being called "fat" should not be an insult because it is basically just an adjective. I'm white. I have red hair. I'm fat. None of these descriptions mean I'm less of a person or lesser in any way. The idea that being fat is somehow akin to being inferior is really the problem here, not random douche bags on the internet.
My biggest beef with these kind of lowest-common-denominator taunts is that they're completely lacking in any ingenuity or intelligence. Also, while mocking someone's weight is meant to be a personal dig, it's actually impersonal. The "fat chick" thing is so overused and tiresome that it's really not specific enough to any one person. It's basically the form letter of insults.
And look, maybe I'm fat and maybe I'm not. The point is: I don't care. It's actually taken me nearly my entire life to get to this point of comfort with my body. And, ironically, being told that I'm fat doesn't hold any weight for me, personally.
What's upsetting to me is that I can tell that most of the comments are coming from women. (Because what dude gives a shit about women's arms or would feign worry over the baby I look to be pregnant with?) And that really upsets me because how can we ever be strong if we're always just going to play on each others' perceived weaknesses? How are we ever gonna get up if that's the way we get down?
Second, maybe I'm just dense but isn't calling some "unintelligent" also pretty lazy and uncreative? Don't get me wrong, I do it kind of a lot myself. But what I don't do is bitch about how unoriginal the world is while patting myself on the back for my own ingenuity.
And that brings me to the part of this post that irritated me the most; the assumption that women are pettier than men (because they would never be concerned with something as trivial as upper arm fat) and that women are supposed to be this giant sisterhood that stands united. The idea that women are "catty" or "bitchy," more so than men, is something that really pisses me off. Women are no pettier than men and I'm pretty sure pettiness is hardwired into our species. It has nothing to do with the fact that some of us have vaginas. Trying to reinforce this idea is actually pretty sexist when you think about it because it relies on the notion that when men fight with each other they have the right and authority to do so, but when women fight with one another they are stepping out of line or behaving irrationally (because there's no way a women could be pissed for perfectly valid reasons that have nothing to do with being overly emotional/jealous/petty/irrational). Assuming these people are women based solely on some idea that only women would stoop so low is what I actually find insulting; not some vague idea that women will never be truly equal because some people called one woman on the internet "fat."
The questions we should really be asking are why being called fat is such a travesty and why we conflate petty behavior with being female. Not the future of feminism.