Friday, March 12, 2010

In which our heroine attempts to think deeply

Some people I know have recently started a facebook group called "People who miss how Michael Kramer used to be." The short of the long is that Kramer used to be all kinds of weird and awesome but then a couple years ago he went through some things that we're not privy to know and he emerged a different person. Since then he's slowly withdrawn from everyone I know who knows him.

This is the group profile picture. Not sure who took it.

Even though I miss hanging out with Kramer, the facebook group got me thinking about how we're all different. None of us are who we used to be and maybe it's selfish of us to want to keep Kramer in some kind of stagnant bubble so we can feel more content in our friendship with him. Maybe he has different opinions and thoughts about things and we no longer fit so easily into his life. Maybe he realized his friendship with us as a group was unfulfilling. Maybe he's just tired of us and wants something new. My point is that there could be a hundred thousand different reasons why Kramer isn't who we want him to be and in the end people can't move backwards (no matter how much we might cling to the hope that they will).

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. It's just that when I saw the invite for the group, I didn't think about Kramer and why he's different. He seems happy and that's all that matter to me. Instead I thought of how the rest of us have changed and why I felt the need to start this post with the words "Some people I know" in place of "some of my friends." It’s easy for us to look at Kramer’s obvious changes while simultaneously ignoring our own. Kramer has changed. That's definitely true. But maybe the problem isn’t that Kramer isn’t still the same person they met in middle school, but that as individuals we were too lazy to make a genuine effort to be in Kramer’s life. Keeping friendships is hard and sometimes it can be even more difficult to see when it’s time to cut your losses. I don’t have the friendships I envisioned a few years ago with anyone (except my old friends and Tiffany). Sometimes I wish we all were like we used to be.

So, I guess this post is my public goodbye to that time in my life. I enjoyed it thoroughly and I’ll miss it dearly, but I have nothing but hope for the future. Feel free to ignore this.


  1. I have changed SOOO much since my high school days, and even my college days. Most of my high school friends are no acquaintences. I see them a couple times a year, have a fun dinner, and then we go on with our lives. I have ONE friendship that has lasted since college, and for her, I'm eternally grateful. But most of my friendships moved on as they're supposed to as we grow, change, and leave that time of our lives.

    I hope your friend Kramer is happy in his life...and that you are, too, of course!

  2. Yes, I know what you mean. It’s one of the reasons I am completely against the idea of getting married in your late teens/early twenties. The period after high school into your mid-twenties is full of so many changes. This time it just feels different being more on the outside and looking in.


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