Thursday, August 20, 2009

In which our heroine ponders a change

I am loving these pictures of Ashley Olsen from the new Marie Claire and I'm thinking I want to cut my hair similar to hers.

It's just so pretty.

The problem is I don’t do so well with short hair. I’ve only cut my hair short one time since middle school and it was right after I had Holden (and it wasn’t even that short). Even though a lot of other people liked it, it drove me crazy. I felt like I didn’t have as many options and that really bothered me.

I don't really want to post this picture cause I know it sucks (look at Ryan's face...haha) but it's the only one I have of myself when my hair was short:

I’m thinking if I cut it just a tad shorter, then it will be just the right length (my hair is straight in this picture but it's naturally wavy).

I'm not sure if I can do it though.

This might sound strange, but having long hair is almost like a part of my identity (as much so as having red hair). Even though I want to cut it, the idea of actually doing so makes me anxious. I keep reminding myself it will grow out and that the world didn’t come to an end last time (though I did have a mini panic attack in the car), but I just don’t know.

I don't understand why I can decide big issues in a blink of an eye, but the thought of cutting my hair turns me into a self doubting idiot. My hair's not even that long. Typing this out is making me irritated. Maybe I should just do and not over think it.

Ok, I'm going to stop now since this post is starting to sound like a page out of my diary and I don't know how to end this thing.

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