Sunday, August 30, 2009

Another Sunday

Unfortunately, I have a sore throat today and all I can think of is a steaming bowl of soup with a soft roll to go with it. I also plan on spending the day lying on the couch acting like the lazy bum I truly am.

The rest of my plans for today include giving the graphic novel Persepolis a try and finishing the movie Wilde (I started last night but was unable to finish since the power decided to go out).

(I'm not a fan of people who are too good looking, but Jude Law is scrumptious in this movie.)

Aww...a day doing nothing. Isn't it wonderful?

And on a totally random note, I found this DIY for homemade scratch off lottery tickets and I'm just beside myself with ideas on how to use it. (I'm thinking it might be a fun way to give Holden his chores when he's bigger.)

I just love it.

So that's it for today ambivalent readers, loyal stalkers, and random passer-byers. Hope your having a good weekend.


Friday, August 28, 2009

More rape in books

I just finished reading Thorn Queen and I have to say I’m a little pissed off. Not because the book was bad or the story unoriginal, but because -surprise surprise- the hero of the book is raped.

Seriously, can we have a fucking book without a person being raped in it?

I talked about my hesitance regarding books with rape scenes before, but what was once a mildly irritating thing has now become a full on piss me off to no end thing to read.

I’m just tired of it.

Have authors ever thought that maybe rape victims don’t want to relieve some of the most traumatic experiences of their life ever time they sit down for some easy reading? And I’m fucking tired of watching authors use rape as a tool to make decisions easier for characters (which I definitely felt happened in this book).

Look, I know what it’s like to hate a person more than you ever thought you were possible to hate a person. And wrose, knowing that all that anger isn’t even because they hurt you, but because they made you hate yourself when you know you shouldn’t. Ok, I know. I do.

But that doesn’t rationalize torturing or killing other people. To read story after story where a person is raped and is then vindicated by going on a murderous rampage only belittles the trauma they went through in my opinion. Even a book like Tender Morsels, that handles rape and incest in one of the most thoughtful and respectful ways I’ve ever seen, not only rapes the rapist with a sense of sanctimoniousness about it all, but also expects the readers to find humor in the situation.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but rape is never okay (no matter how despicable the person is or how you feel about them).

Then, I read people saying that the author was right to rape their character because the character needed it for the personal growth. Really? Personal. Fucking. Growth. That’s what we’re calling it now?

I’m not stupid either; I realize I’m getting way more upset over this than most people would probably expect. I just don’t understand why author’s feel it’s so necessary (especially with authors as talented as Richelle Mead). I'm not even exaggerating when I say that almost every other book I read nowadays seems to have rape in it.

If I want to read stories about rape, I’ll read non-fiction books on the rape culture or memoirs from the real victims of sexual abuse. Not some random fantasy book I liked the cover of.

I'm now off to read Joe Ambercrombie's Best Served Cold. Hopefully it will be rape free. Otherwise, it just might be time I found a new genre.

Design a Vagina (NSFW)

I just found a link to Jamie McCartney's vulva sculptures though Sociological Images and I am in total awe.

Here is the first panel of 40 casts (he plans on having six panels in all):


About the project:
The title is a play on words, commenting on the trend for surgery to create the 'perfect' vagina. This modern day equivalent of female genital mutilation is a bizarre practice which suggests that one is better than another...

Already included are examples of male to female and a female to male transexuals, a virgin, a porn star and a woman with some elaborate piercings. Ages so far range from 18 year old students to a grandmother of 64.

Does anyone else think this guy is a total genius? It makes me so happy that work like this is being done.

The sooner we all realize our genitals are normal -and even beautiful- the way they are, the sooner we can do away with the shame and self-consciousness far too many people feel about their bodies. (Then maybe we can start on the weird ideas about how a vagina should smell.)

Two thumbs up to McCartney.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I'm doing my happy dance

I just got home from my Race, Class, and Gender class and I don’t even have the words to properly explain the love I have for this class.

Seriously, I don’t think there has even been a more appropriate class for me.

Not only does the class center on topics I am already deeply interested in and talk about on this blog (patriarchy, heterosexism, classism, white privilege, racism, etc.), but the Professor also promotes discussion and debate. (Anyone who’s met my talkative ass knows this is how I prefer my learning environment.) There are also a lot of people coming from different perspectives which I think will only enhance the experience.

Since today was our first class I shouldn’t get too excited, but the class played out pretty much like every time my friends and I get together.

I am even looking forward to doing all the reading.

It’s just all kinds of win.

Ted Kennedy

I doubt there is any one who hasn’t heard of Senator Ted Kennedy’s passing. He’ll be sorely missed and I suppose that after 77 years, Kennedy just didn’t have it in him to continue raging against the dying light.

Picture taken by [ henning ]. (His cemetery photos are brilliant.)

There have been so many great articles and posts written about Kennedy's life already, that I don’t really feel need to say too much myself.

However, I do want to say that Ted Kennedy is proof that even good people make mistakes and that those mistakes needn’t be the summation of a person’s entire life. Far from perfect, Kennedy showed how we can all rise above our past failures, not matter how big they may be, and make a difference in the world.

I can't help but feel we've lost something precious in this passing. Rest in peace Mr. Kennedy.

-Here’s a post highlighting some of the senator’s achievements.
-Here’s a post highlighting some of his mistakes.
-And just for shits and giggles, here’s a post rounding up some of the right's worse Tweets about Kennedy.

Outstanding in the Field

I am loving these pictures from Outstanding in the Field (via Oh Happy Day):

Aren't they just amazing?

It turns out Outstanding in the Field is a traveling restaurant that foeatures long tables and local ingredients. Here's what they had to say about themselves on their website:

Outstanding in the Field is a roving culinary adventure - literally a restaurant without walls. Since 1999 we have set the long table at farms or gardens, on mountain tops or in sea caves, on islands or at ranches. Occasionally the table is set indoors: a beautiful refurbished barn, a cool greenhouse or a stately museum. Wherever the location, the consistent theme of each dinner is to honor the people whose good work brings nourishment to the table.

Ingredients for the meal are almost all local (sometimes sourced within inches of your seat at the table!) and generally prepared by a celebrated chef of the region. After a tour of the site, we all settle in: farmers, producers, culinary artisans, and diners sharing the long table.

Is it just me or does that sound awesome? I'd like to have my own dinner party out in a forest or field some day (if only for the pictures).

You can visit their website here.

Angels and Demons

In my usual habit, I stayed up much too late last night so I could finish Angels and Demons. Unfortunately, I wasn’t all that impressed.

Even though I did enjoy the Da Vinci Code, this book just didn’t do it for me for quite a few reasons.

1. The plot was too implausible. Does anyone besides Brown really believe that blowing up the Vatican would eradicate Christianity or make people embrace the sciences? It’s just ridiculous.

I also thought the “clues” Brown’s character had to follow were an insult to the reader’s intelligence. Brown first rambles on about what a secret society the Illuminati is and how they were nearly impossible to find, while simultaneously asking us to believe that his main character, Robert Langdon, is able to find the secret “church of the Illuminati” in less than four hours.

2. Then there were the stereotypical characters: The smart attractive Professor who becomes an unlikely hero, the sexy intelligent female sidekick, the cold unsympathetic old man, the anti-god scientists, the fanatical clergymen, the super bad bad guy, and then the old bait and switch with the antagonist.

It was all a bit too expected. I also felt like Brown attempted to manipulate readers by making one of his characters extremely inconsistent with his previous behavior. I get that Brown wanted readers to be shocked by the ending, but I was more annoyed with his bait and switch than I was surprised.

3. Some of the dialog seemed to go on for days. (Brown has a nasty habit of over describing things that don’t really need to be described.)

4. The total crap of an ending. If Brown wanted to reinforce that the Catholic Church will lie to keep its power, then he did a great job. Otherwise, the books’ ending was a total failure.

But the main problem I had with this book is some of the broad accusations Brown makes about science. It just felt too political and the rant one of his characters goes on around page 380 was so irritating I almost stopped reading. I can’t remember if the Da Vinci Code had a similar problem, but I don’t think that’s something I would forget.

All in all I'm sad to say the book was a major waste of my time and I doubt I’ll be reading another Brown book again. I might still watch the movie, but that's about it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Birthers want to know: Was Obama circumcised?

This is just crazy. I know it's just a bunch of lunatics on a right-wing forum, but I still can't believe these people.

Circumcision is not proof of anything.

Unless my son is somehow not American. In fact, I remember reading that more and more Americans are choosing not to circumcize their children. It is not a "routine procedure."

These people need more hobbies.

Hands Off My Body

I came across this picture of a recent town hall meeting a little while ago and I couldn't help but laugh at the hypocrisy:

Then, I read this quote by Rep. Michele Bachmann talking about health care reform and I realized these people don't get it.
"That's why people need to continue to go to the town halls, continue to melt the phone lines of their liberal members of Congress," said Bachmann, "and let them know, under no certain circumstances will I give the government control over my body and my health care decisions."

This is from a woman who equates abortion to genocide and has sponsored or cosponsored 13 bills restricting abortion rights so far this year.


These people don't get that their anti-choice rhetoric is the reality of government control over women's bodies (while their health care reform scare tactics are blatantly imaginary). You can't demand freedom for your own body while imposing laws and restriction upon the bodies of others.


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

RIP Aaliyah

It's hard to believe it's been eight years since Aaliyah died.

Why does it seem like the best artists always die young while the Britney Spears and Jonas Brothers go on forever?

Two Posts. One Website.

I thought the difference between these two posts was interesting. (One is about the Miss Universe pageant and the other is about acid attacks on women.)

Miss Universe: Feminism Is Dead According To Miss Venezuela:

On last night's Miss Universe live broadcast, Miss Venezuela was asked what women can do to overcome sexism in the workplace. She answered that women need to realize that "there are no longer any barriers against us."
Women and Girls Are So Cheap In This Society:

Hasina is still able to see the beauty in her own face. "People say that my eyes are so beautiful, it's obvious just from one eye," she says. "This eye inspires me to live. It's a very important thing for me. It gives me the light to go on."
Makes you wonder

-via Jezebel

Obama’s Reading List

Did any of you see this “Five Books Obama is Reading” feature on the yahoo front page?

The link will take you to a Slate article that compares Obama’s choices with some of those of past presidents and how people might interpret the president’s choices.

I couldn't help but wonder when I read this paragraph:
The Obama selection is not overtly controversial... But his list is also clearly not poll-tested. Women played a key role in Obama's victory in 2008. They're swing voters. And yet all of Obama's authors are white men. The subject of the longest book, John Adams, is a dead white male. Obama couldn't get away with that in an election year, and, given his aides' penchant for cleaning up little things like this, we'll soon see the president with a copy of Kate Walbert's A Short History of Women.

Really? Does anyone actually care? Yes it’s mildly interesting, but I don’t think a glance at a persons reading list will give you any true insight into their person. Let alone be a deciding factor on whether or not you vote for a person.

It’s just books people.

Does it really matter what genre a person enjoys? Is the fact I had a near orgasmic experience when I found out George R.R. Martin might actually release his fifth book sometime this decade some huge signifier of my personality?

I doubt it.

So let's let the man enjoy his books in peace.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Thomas Jefferson a rapist?

I just read an interesting post over at feministe denouncing Thomas Jefferson as a rapist. (The title of the post is even, “Thomas Jefferson: The Face of a Rapist.”) The author contends that because Sally Hemings was his slave, she had no ability to give or deny consent. Therefore, she’s a rape victim and Jefferson a rapist.

Here’s the opening paragraph:
Americans look at Thomas Jefferson and see the one of the authors of the Declaration of Independence, a statesman, a former president and one of the founding fathers,’ however; when I look at him, I see the face of a rapist. When Jefferson first met Sally Hemings, his slave through inheritance, she would have been no more than 15 or 16 years old. It is rumored that when she returned from France with him, that she was already pregnant with his child.
It’s an incredibly interesting post to read so I definitely recommend it to everyone. I actually found the comments to be the most thought provoking and though you may have to wade through some bullshit, there are definitely some gems in there.

But I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it overall.

I do think it’s a bit disingenuous to think of 18th century 15 and 16 year olds in the same way we think of modern teenagers, but I do agree that since a slave was considered property, they did not have the ability to consent. We all know there can be no consensual sex without consent. So following that logic Jefferson would be a rapist, but so would many many many other people.

I guess that’s my problem with this topic – I just don’t see the point.

It seems like an attempt to be purposely shocking and the author’s claim (which she makes in the comments) that any relationship where there is an unequal balance of power should be considered rape, regardless if the two parties are both consenting, makes me a bit uncomfortable.

I thought this comments by Alara Rogers was particularly interesting:
I think what’s hanging people up is the changing perception of the term “rape” as we slowly claw our way out of patriarchy:

- Rape is a heinous act of violence committed by violent, cruel men against innocent virginal women.

- Rape is any sexual use of another human being against their will, or any sexual use of a human being who cannot freely give consent because of their age, their condition, or the power differential between them and the person using them for sex.

The first is only a tiny, tiny subset of the second… but it’s been the operational definition of rape for *thousands* of years. The current definition, which posits that all human beings have autonomy over their bodies and have the moral *right* to say no, is new. Possibly only about forty years old, in fact, because spousal rape exemption laws were on the books everywhere that recently.
Was Jefferson a violent, brutal, depraved man who forced himself viciously on Sally Hemings? Most likely not. If that is your only definition of rape, he wasn’t a rapist. But then, if that’s your only definition of rape, then adult men who have sex with 13-year-old girls who have crushes on them are not rapists.

I think the reason people don’t want to follow Renee’s logic through to its conclusion, even if under other circumstances they *would* agree with definition 2 for rape, is that, as other posters have pointed out, IT MEANS THAT MOST MEN HAVE BEEN RAPISTS THROUGHOUT HUMAN HISTORY.

A 13 year old girl might want sex with her handsome 27 year old teacher. That doesn’t mean it’s not rape if he takes her up on it. A slave *could* in theory find her master attractive. That doesn’t mean it’s not rape, given that she is not allowed to say no. By *definition* sex with a slave is rape, whether they would have been willing if they were free or not, for the same reason that sex with a willing 13 year old is rape. Because when there is a power differential so huge that no meaningful consent is possible, any sex falls into definition 2.

Most clients of prostitutes are rapists, because most prostitutes are forced into being prostitutes and cannot say no. (I do understand that some sex workers freely choose their work. Their clients would therefore not be rapists. But I’m not sure how clients could tell the difference, since prostituted people are probably also forced to claim that they are doing this freely.) Most men, throughout history, were rapists, because they were married and their wives had no legal right to say no. This is *why* it’s so hard to prosecute rape, why it’s so hard to take date rape and spousal rape seriously, why rapists can justify their crimes with “but she wanted it” — because throughout human history, the status of women in general has been so low that what we see today as rape was simply seen as normal sex.

We can go one of two ways with this fact. We can use it to say “Well, rape can’t be all that bad, because it used to be seen as normal sex and probably every woman on the planet used to have to put up with it, so how bad could it be?” Or we can say, “We take as axiomatic that rape is horrific, because people who have been raped say so, so we must be appalled at the fact of human history that most women who have ever lived were raped, that most men who ever lived were rapists, and we must work to ensure that that situation ends for all people worldwide and that we never fall into that situation again.”

Being that I am both female and have more empathy than a common sea slug, I take door number 2. I would like for those who are fighting so hard to say “But maybe Jefferson wasn’t a rapist!” or “Okay, he was, but was that so bad? He wasn’t a *mean* rapist” to consider that they are making the first argument, and consider what that implies about their belief about women’s humanity.

You cannot have consensual sex with a slave, because to be able to give consent you must be able to deny. By definition, Jefferson raped Hemings. It doesn’t matter if he loved her; lots of men who love women beat, rape and murder them, all over the world. It doesn’t matter if she loved him; he had so much power over her that she wasn’t free to say no, and therefore she wasn’t free to say yes. There is no point to arguing that *maybe* she wanted it, because it doesn’t matter if she did, any more than it matters if a 13 year old girl wants sex with an adult man. it is STILL RAPE. And I can acknowledge the debt this country owes to Jefferson and consider him a great man while still understanding that he, by definition, was a rapist… and probably so were the majority of men living in that time.

Does it do us any good to think of almost every man in history as rapists? (And does that definition of what rape constitutes include all women of power as well?) I just can't see the benefit in generalizing every relationship throughout history in such a way.

But I'm still unsure. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

-I want to point out that I do agree that a slave cannot give consent (because they cannot refuse consent) to a slave holder, so any sexual move on the slave owners part is by definition rape. Why that is so much worse than the fact the slave owner can have a slave tortured or killed I’m not quite sure.

Re-knitting the fabric that weaves us together

I really wanted to share this article by Hillary Clinton called “What I Saw in Goma” because it’s really amazing.

Honestly, I even found myself tearing up when I read it. I've been really impressed by Clinton the last few months and her words here really touched me.

From People:
In 11 days of travel across Africa, I saw humanity at its worst – and at its best. In Goma last week, I saw both.

The Mugunga Internally Displaced Persons Camp sits in a land of volcanoes and great lakes on the edge of Goma, a provincial capital in the eastern Congo. The camp is now home to 18,000 people seeking refuge from a cycle of violent conflict that has left 5.4 million dead since 1998. Chased from their homes and villages by armed rebels and informal militias, these men, women and children walked for miles with little food or water until they reached this relatively safe haven.

Now they live in tents, one next to the other, row after row, some clinging to life, others hanging on to whatever glimmer of hope remains in a region plagued by years of brutality. Many of these people have been robbed of their homes, possessions, families and, worst of all, their dignity.

Women and girls in particular have been victimized on an unimaginable scale, as sexual and gender-based violence has become a tactic of war and has reached epidemic proportions. Some 1,100 rapes are reported each month, with an average of 36 women and girls raped every day.

I visited a hospital run by the organization Heal Africa and met a woman who told me that she was eight months' pregnant when she was attacked. She was at home when a group of men broke in. They took her husband and two of their children and shot them in the front yard, before returning into the house to shoot her other two children. Then they beat and gang-raped her and left her for dead. But she wasn't dead. She fought for life and her neighbors managed to get her to the hospital – 85 kilometers away.

I came to Goma to send a clear message: The United States condemns these attacks and all those who commit them and abet them. They are crimes against humanity.

These acts don't just harm a single individual, or a single family, or village, or group. They shred the fabric that weaves us together as human beings. Such atrocities have no place in any society. This truly is humanity at its worst.

But there is reason to hope. We have seen survivors summon the courage to rebuild their lives and their communities. We have seen civic leaders and organizations come together to combat this appalling scourge. And we have seen health care workers sacrifice comfortable careers so they can treat the wounded.

In Goma, I met doctors and advocates who work every day to repair the broken bodies and spirits of women who have been raped, often by gangs, and often in such brutal fashion that they can no longer bear children, or walk or work. Caregivers like Lyn Lusi, who founded Heal Africa in Goma, and Dr. Denis Mukwege, who founded the Panzi hospital in Bukavu, represent humanity at its best.

The United States will stand with these brave people. This week I announced more than $17 million in new funding to prevent and respond to gender and sexual violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo. We will provide medical care, counseling, economic assistance and legal support. We will dedicate nearly $3 million to recruit and train police officers to protect women and girls and to investigate sexual violence. We will send technology experts to help women and front-line workers report abuse using photographs and video and share information on treatment and legal options. And we will deploy a team of civilian experts, medical personnel and military engineers to assess how we can further assist survivors of sexual violence.

While I was in the DRC, I had very frank discussions about sexual violence with President Kabila. I stressed that the perpetrators of these crimes, no matter who they are, must be prosecuted and punished. This is particularly important when they are in positions of authority, including members of the Congolese military, who have been allowed to commit these crimes with impunity.

Our commitment to survivors of sexual and gender-based violence did not begin with my visit to Goma, and it will not end with my departure.

We are redoubling our efforts to address the fundamental cause of this violence: the fighting that goes on and on in the eastern Congo. We will be taking additional steps at the United Nations and in concert with other nations to bring an end to this conflict.

There is an old Congolese proverb that says, "No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come." The day must come when the women of the eastern Congo can walk freely again, to tend their fields, play with their children and collect firewood and water without fear. They live in a region of unrivaled natural beauty and rich resources. They are strong and resilient. They could, if given the opportunity, drive economic and social progress that would make their country both peaceful and prosperous.

Working together, we will banish sexual violence into the dark past, where it belongs, and help the Congolese people seize the opportunities of a new day.

I know these words are easy to say but hard to uphold. I know that we have our own problems regarding rape and the treatment of sexual abuse victims here at home. I know there will always be people who think rape is a valid tool to terrorize communities. And I know it’s easy for us to sit here and judge these people.

But I can’t help but feel hopeful.

And proud. Way to go Clinton!

Barney Frank's Town Hall Snaps

The Daily Show delivers once again:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Barney Frank's Town Hall Snaps
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealthcare Protests

Love it.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Some much needed good news

Some of you may have noticed I haven’t been talking much about politics lately. Mainly, I’ve just been tired of all the vitriol out there and haven’t really been in the mood to do any reading about it.

The vehemence in American politics right now is simply daunting.

But there have also been some good things going on as well and there are a few stories I want to point out in case anyone else has had their head in the sand along side me.

1. We’ve had some great news on the pro-choice front.

A South Dakota judge ruled that a law requiring doctors to tell pregnant women that abortion increases the risk of suicide and suicide ideation is “untruthful and misleading.” This is great since there is no evidence of increased risk of suicide and convincing patients they should have an unwanted child or they might kill themselves is pretty low. Even for anti-choicers who are usually as low as it gets.

Then, an Oklahoma judge overturned a state law that required women seeking an abortion to receive an ultrasound and a doctor's description of the fetus. Of course people are already working hard to get an appeal, but this is still good news for now.

2. Governor Paterson has agreed to sign a bill that would reduce the shackling of pregnant inmates during labor. As the article says, “Shackling pregnant women endangers the lives of the women and their babies. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American Public Health Association, the American Medical Women’s Association, and the American College of Nurse Midwives all vehemently oppose shackling incarcerated women during labor.”

3. I thoroughly enjoyed this video of Sam Harris on Real Time with Bill Maher. I haven’t The End of Faith, but I did read Letter to a Christian Nation and I thought it was brilliant. (It’s like a lighter version of The God Delusion. If you have any interest in understanding atheism or the criticisms most atheists have against religion this is a good place to start.)

4. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America will no longer require any gay clergy to remain celibate. On Friday the church voted to allow gays and lesbians in committed relationships to serve as clergy.

Even though this may seem like a small step, we are talking about a church that has 4.7 million members and the more churches that accept homosexuality, the quicker we can move past homophobia (at least homophobia that is based on religion).

I know it's not much, but it's still nice to hear some good news every now and again.

-There are a few other subjects I want to talk about, but they will need their own post so I will be writing about them in the coming days.

A Lovely Specimen

We went to see Inglorious Basterds this weekend and it was just great. Though there were a few scenes that made me feel kind of squeamish, I thought the movie was pretty awesome overall.

It's probably one of the best I've seen in a long time in fact.

Britni said she was “completely taken” with the actress Mélanie Laurent and I got to admit I felt the same way about the actor who plays the dairy farmer in the very beginning, Denis Menochet.

When I saw him all I could think was, “Wow. He’s lovely.”

There’s just something about his rugged masculinity that appeals to me. This may sound weird, but I really liked the scene where he lights his pipe and we see his dirty nails and hard working hands. It just screams, "I am man."

It also doesn't hurt that his eyes are just plain gorgeous.

Unfortunately, these were the only pictures I could find of him and there were on his IMDB page. I find that kind of sad.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Clocks and Peacock Feathers

I love when I feel creative.

I don’t know how other people’s creativity works, but mine definitely wanes and flows. Even though there’s a part of me that’s always looking at things from a creative point of view, there are times in my life when I just don’t feel like making anything. And I learned long ago that I shouldn’t do it if my heart’s not in it (this is why it can take me forever to finish a picture).

There’s just something about having paint splattered arms and dried glue on my fingers that makes me feel most like myself though.

Anyways, my point is that I’ve been feeling really motivated lately. I think it has to do with the fact I’m starting school again and I no longer feel like I’m just taking up space in the universe. (That came out way more cynical than I intended.) Either way, it seems every where I look there are things to inspire me.

First there was this gorgeous picture in the Anthropologie catalogue:

I really like clocks and the layering of browns got me thinking of how I could incorporate something similar into a painting. (Plus, I want that bed. Like really really want it. Too bad I don’t have five grand to waste. I wouldn’t be surprised if I find myself attaching branches all over a cheap Ikea canopy frame bed and spray painting the sucker black one day though.)

This is just a work in progress (so don’t judge too harshly) but I think I’m on to something.

Then I saw this bad ass hair clip at Topsy Turvy Design:

Isn't it lovely? At $23 dollars it's really reasonably priced, but I knew I could make my own so I gave it a shot today:

Not bad right? I got to admit the clip is kind of huge, but I think it will look really nice clipped in the back.

All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday. (Now I just got to finish up some of the other pictures I started forever ago and just never got to…)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Love's Deceit

I really like poetry, but I’m incredibly picky about it. Either a poem speaks to me or it doesn’t. There’s really no in between with me.

Last night Ryan was watching ATL. Even though I wasn’t paying attention (not too surprisingly I was reading), the beginning of this poem snagged my attention like a low hanging branch.

"Love's Deceit" By Big Rube

Pleasure turns to the pain
Lessons learned from the strain
Questions burned in my brain..
About whether love is humane
In its touch.
These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream
In the tears of your deceit.
Fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the Chaos
Of our intertwined emotions.
Chaotic because the anchor of Erros' arrow has been plucked
From the vessel of my undying infatuation
Separation not as simple as the distance between us
My mind no longer possessed by demons
That have been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies
The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply
They have cracked the foundation of what we once shared
Allowing the faith in us i had sealed inside
To gush out like a river
Ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts
As violently and as brutally as if it were a child
Being taken from its mothers arms
I’m left surrounded in darkness
But I refuse to be swallowed by it
My loneliness like the night air
Invisible to the eye
Obvious to the touch
It is cold uncomfortableness
Yet if i could do it all over again
I'd do it in the same skin im in
To lay down and let love die
Just stay down and let love lie?
No, no..not I
I'd stay around and let love fly
Even though I have seen its darkest form
Nothing else could taste this warm
Or feel this sweet...

These words struck a cord in me in a way that I can't easily explain. Even though I can't find any other poems by Big Rube, I will definitely keep looking.

Let's Play Dress Up

I saw this picture on Jezebel and I just adored it:

I really love when women dress a bit androgynous. It’s one of my favorite styles and I really like clothing that incorporates Victorian-esq details – Gothic Lolita and Steampunk are good examples.

I think part of that comes from my inability to pull the masculine look off myself (besides through jackets and shoes). Because I can't go masculine, I counter that by buying really feminine pieces sometimes.

There's just something about ruffles that make me happy.

I found this really cool website called Gloomth yesterday. Since I’m as poor as poor comes, I had to settle for some cyber window shopping and I found myself wanting to buy everything.

I’ve never wanted a piece of clothing more than I want this jacket (ignore the dress underneath):

Isn’t it awesome? I know it’s all a bit ridiculous, but that’s what I love about it. I can just see myself wearing this baby with a white tee and some jeans (open of course).

I am also loving the lace detail on these shorts:

If all of my clothes suddenly have lace trim I wouldn’t be too surprised.

Put together these clothes are a bit theme-y for my taste, but one their own their like pieces of art.

And I love art.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I did it...I cut my hair. It's hard to tell, but it's shorter in the back and gets longer in the front (sorry for the crappy webcam pics):

I know you guys could probably care less, but I'm super proud of myself. I haven't had a chance to play around with it, but I like the way it dried naturally (which I usually hate).

I might even cut it a little shorter next time.

Anyhoo, I also dropped my math class since it was way way way too easy. (I'm planning on brushing up on my math skills and just retaking the test for next semester). Luckily, there was an opening in Western Civ. to 1300 so I'm super stoked.

I love me some history. :)

So that's it. Cheers.


I have no idea why, but I want a pair of these Handerpants.

I just think they're funny and I really like that the "infomercial" makes fun of itself. And the slogan, "Your hands never need to go commando again!" Brilliant.

In which our heroine ponders a change

I am loving these pictures of Ashley Olsen from the new Marie Claire and I'm thinking I want to cut my hair similar to hers.

It's just so pretty.

The problem is I don’t do so well with short hair. I’ve only cut my hair short one time since middle school and it was right after I had Holden (and it wasn’t even that short). Even though a lot of other people liked it, it drove me crazy. I felt like I didn’t have as many options and that really bothered me.

I don't really want to post this picture cause I know it sucks (look at Ryan's face...haha) but it's the only one I have of myself when my hair was short:

I’m thinking if I cut it just a tad shorter, then it will be just the right length (my hair is straight in this picture but it's naturally wavy).

I'm not sure if I can do it though.

This might sound strange, but having long hair is almost like a part of my identity (as much so as having red hair). Even though I want to cut it, the idea of actually doing so makes me anxious. I keep reminding myself it will grow out and that the world didn’t come to an end last time (though I did have a mini panic attack in the car), but I just don’t know.

I don't understand why I can decide big issues in a blink of an eye, but the thought of cutting my hair turns me into a self doubting idiot. My hair's not even that long. Typing this out is making me irritated. Maybe I should just do and not over think it.

Ok, I'm going to stop now since this post is starting to sound like a page out of my diary and I don't know how to end this thing.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I just saw Amélie for the first time yesterday and I knew instantly it was going to become one of my favorites.

Not only is Audrey Tautou lovely, but I just love the dream-like look and tone of the movie. It's what takes a movie like this, or Penelope, Matilda, Big Fish, etc.., from great to just freggin brilliant. (And a book full of pictures taken by strangers in a photo booth? I want one myself. Seriously.)

There are so many scenes I wished I could just jump right into. If I could cast my life in a similar light, I would do so without hesitation.

How I went so long without seeing this movie is a complete mystery.

Tell 'em Barney

Oh how I love you Barney Frank.

FYI: you just got added to my crush list. You're welcome.

The sight of knees – making idiots confused since 2009

If you’re bothered by Michelle Obama wearing shorts, then you must have some serious personal issues.

I do not understand what the big deal is. Michelle’s shorts were not “short shorts” or “revealing” in any way. (They hit mid-thigh for Christ’s sake.)

In a culture of Girl’s Gone Wild, should this really be the issue we focus on? Propriety is dead people. Let the woman wear her shorts in peace.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Wise Words

Courtesy of my brother:

Nice message. Bad delivery.

I'm Officially Registered for Classes

As the title explains, I am officially registered to start school in the fall. I’m super excited but also a little nervous to be quite honest. Five years is much too long to be out of the classroom. People who decide to go back to school after decades have my sympathy in a way they never did before.

Seriously, we should be having parades for these people.

As to be expected I sucked hard core at math. (I’m wonder if Mrs. Palmer would be interested to know that the math we learned in her Algebra 2 class was not indispensable to our survival in the real world and was instead forgotten within a few years. Probably not…) Now I have to start all over with Elementary Algebra and I’m not happy to be quite honest. I know I need it, but I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for me to know everything about everything.

Is that really too much to ask?

Here are the classes I’m registered to take:

I’m really bummed I had to drop International Lit. And Culture, but I thought I was being a tad self-indulgent and I really need to take a math class every semester till I can take the long bus to school.

I also wanted to throw an economy class in there but I can only take classes at night so my options are a bit limited (especially this close to the beginning of school). There are always other semesters though.

Now I only have to hope my financial aid doesn’t take forever and I can actually attend these classes.