Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ultimate Geek Debate

Down the street from my house is a diner my friends and I like to go to called Dee's.

It’s very similar to Denny’s (although they claim to hate Denny’s for some odd reason). And even though the food isn't anything special, it’s our regular place to hang out and argue politics over plates of cheese fries or cups of coffee.

We can sit there for hours at a time without even noticing. It's like time doesn't run correctly while we're sitting there bitching and moaning about the random wrongness in the world. We also seem to end up with the same waitress almost every time whose greatest joy in life seems to be giving us the hairy eyeball and forgetting to refill our drinks.

Still, we love it (in fact it kind of adds to its charm) and it's one of the places that makes this feel like home.

God that sounded corny. :)

We have pretty much argued and debated everything there is to argue about in one of their booths. (One time we even drew the entire theory of evolution in the fog on one of their windows. It was there for weeks. Lazy bastards.)

I started think about all of this because of a post regarding the oxford comma. I’m sad to say we’ve even debated that.

(The oxford comma, a.k.a. the serial comma, is the comma used immediately before a grammatical conjunction (nearly always and or or) that precedes the last item in a list of three or more items. Example: I’d like a coke, cheese fries, and extra napkins. The red comma is the oxford comma and it’s really just personally preference whether you use it or not.)

The oxford comma debate actually started as a joke to get us to stop arguing about the most ridiculously geeky and unnecessary argument ever; The Death Star vs. The Enterprise.

That’s right. We actually argue about who would win in a fight, the Death Star from Star Wars or the Enterprise from Star Trek.

Personally, I think this is an unfair question since the Enterprise is the good guy and therefore the Death Star is doomed to lose simply for being the villain.

Plus, the Death Star is a battle station with a butt load of TIE fighters at its disposal and the power to blow up planets. The enterprise is good, but not that good. One on one though, the Enterprise can outmaneuver the Death Star and would probably kick its ass if only for the fact the Death Star doesn’t have strong shields.

I could get into more detail, but I’m already ashamed of the amount of time I’ve spent thinking about this.

I decided to see what was online (I just knew there had to be something) and I found plenty of forums that argue about this very thing. Here are some of the things I thought were funny:
Enterprise. Three reasons:

1) Teleporters (bothered me it took all the way to Voyager nearish-end-season for them to figure out the telebomb trick)

2) Shields. Unless the Enterprise engages the Death Star in dry-dock, it’s got no real shielding beyond normal magnetics. The Enterprise can fire on the Death Star with impunity because the laser cannons of the DS, its escorts, and its fighters are not nearly strong enough to penetrate the shields of the Enterprise.

3) Physics. In Trek, the Laws of Physics don’t apply. With the windup that the Death Star beam takes to fire, the Enterprise would have more than enough time to saddle out of the way.

If Darth Vader and other Sith aren’t on the Death Star at the time, a small boarding party from the Enterprise (about 3 should do) could take out the whole crew, since storm troopers have the same aiming skills as the A-Team. The death star is weak. I mean, that sissy Luke Skywalker blew it up. It's the meanest weapon in the galaxy but all you have to do is shoot down this hole and the entire thing blows up, give me a break.

The superlaser on the original Death Star takes 24 hours to recharge and even 5 hours on Death Star 2.
Death Star, no contest.

The Death Star could target the Enterprise while it was far in the distance, when it would be much harder to just bob-and-weave around the big gun. And besides, once it got in close, it would have to deal with all those fighters, close-support cannons, etc., etc.

As for the telebomb trick, as is typical of the ST universe, there would be way too much ‘interference’ to pull that off.

Even aside from the question of the Star itself, it's got about a bajillion TIE fighters inside. Enterprise vs. a bajillion TIE fighters = PWNED Enterprise.

So there you have it. I don't know if it's better knowing we're not the only ones or worse seeing how geeky it really makes us (hey, we can't talk about philosophy and politics all the time).

I really am lucky to have such kick ass friends though.

And I could go for some cheese fries right about now. :)


  1. okay........the enterprise would, without a doubt, kill the deathstar,the rebel force, and Steve.

  2. I actually agree with you (*gasp* I've switched sides lol).

    Glad to see you're still alive in blogger world. :)

  3. yes!

    Ha yeah I'm alive, but just barley. :)


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