Friday, February 27, 2009

Infidelity

Warning: I’m going to rant about a few blogs I follow that deal with the topic of infidelity.

One, in particular, is beautifully written. The posts are nothing short of amazing. The writer has a way of making infidelity sound like some romantic tale of passion or a get away adventure.

But infidelity is none of those things.

To me, it’s simply the continual abuse of trust for selfish reasons. Infidelity is just an extension of narcissism (because it takes a truly self centered person to trample all over someone else).

infidelity Pictures, Images and Photos

Do I sound like a prude? I don’t mean to. I’m just really conflicted about my feelings. I believe wholeheartedly in a person’s right to live their life how they see fit, but I can’t stop thinking about the husband and his rights.

For some reason, her infidelity bothers me more since she’s stated time and time again how wonderful her husband is. He’s everything she could ask for in a husband and her best friend. He just doesn’t satisfy her sexually. Therefore, she has the right to sleep with whomever she wishes.

What?

Isn’t love about sacrifice? Sometimes you have to give up selfish pursuits in exchange for being in a relationship. To me that’s one of the basic measures of being an adult. Realizing you can’t always have what you want whenever you want it. And the fact she has such a lovely husband makes it worse in my book (though it shouldn’t).

I don’t care if you want to sleep with one person or twenty. I don’t even care if you sleep with all twenty at the same time. Polyamory, threesomes, swapping, open relationships, it doesn’t matter how unorthodox your relationship is; as long as you’re both on board I think it’s great. There just needs to be honesty with your partner.

And her saying her affairs don’t affect her marriage is just naïve. Whenever you lie to the person your with, even if it’s the absence of truth type of dishonesty, you are hurting your relationship.

Lies build walls.

I don’t want you to think I’m judging her (at least not more than we normally judge people). She has the right to live however she likes. It doesn’t really matter if I think she’s being hypocritical by sleeping with other men while in the same breath saying she would never do anything to hurt her marriage. That’s her choice and I fully respect that (the freedom to make her own choices, not the behavior).

I just wish we weren’t so quick to accept deceit as acceptable behavior. (I also think there’s a double standard in our acceptance of the wife’s infidelity over the husband’s, but that’s a whole other can of worms).

Relationships are complicated and full of grey areas, but deceit isn't on of them.

"The people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect - simply a confession of failures." -Oscar Wilde

22 comments:

  1. I completely agree. I wish I had something to add but I really echo everything you wrote!

    I am sort of a prude (I admit) but I hate how people rationalize infidelity. Like you said, it's such a selfish abuse of trust.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My name is Monica Johnson Sweden, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.DAYO and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on his email address dayolovespell@gmail.com or call his mobile number+2348149158514

      Delete
  2. I guess I'm a prude in saying that if you swear an oath to stay loyal to one person, then you should do it.

    Otherwise, why get married to begin with?

    ReplyDelete
  3. So yea, I was just writing a note on this same subject and came across your blog while searching for a photo to accompany my entry:

    http://kristenalyce.tumblr.com/post/592412235/things-that-women-do-pt-1-the-unforgivable-brush-off

    But I feel you, honey...100%! ;)

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello my name is Tanya, I'm from Brazil. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is genuine and real.I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing Jackson, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly. I found consultant. Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Several days later, my phone rang. Jackson was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be.” you can contact the spell caster on–Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com he’s very nice and great.

    ReplyDelete

  8. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My
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    ReplyDelete
  9. My name is Monica Johnson Sweden, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.DAYO and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on his email address dayolovespell@gmail.com or call his mobile number+2348149158514

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  17. My Wife divorce me for no reason, Thanks to Dr Dr.Opia for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again, My name is Richy Walter. i live in UK, I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(whitetraditionalherbalist@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy and she apologized for her mistake and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster .if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Dr.Opia for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. {whitetraditionalherbalist@gmail.com }, Thanks you Dr Dr.Opia, i will always be testifying about your good work.This spell is a 100% Guarantee for your situation.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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    ReplyDelete

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