Sunday, February 15, 2009

Blah blah blah

The more time I spend unemployed the more I feel like I'm falling into madness.

I know that sounds strange, but I NEED to be working. It’s just not healthy for me to have this much time on my hands. I find life too dreadfully boring and being home all the time just makes it more glaringly obvious. Like a mocking shadow.

And I can’t stand it.

I’ll take any distraction I can find. Books, movies, music, cooking, really any activity that requires my attention enough to drown out the back round static. That's why I've always had so many hobbies and interests.

I don’t know who these people are who feel so overwhelmingly alive, but I don’t understand it.

And sometimes I hate them for it.

I know I’ve had single moments of exhilaration, but they can stand against the monotony of every day life no more than the rain drop can rage against the ocean.

I know I’m sounding crazy, but I need to find a new job. Soon.

There was a time (when I first started dating my boyfriend actually) when I worked about 70 hours a week. Even then, I always seemed to have plenty of time to myself. I've always seemed to have too much time.

I know most people feel the opposite, but I don't know how to live that way.

I just don't know.

(Yeah, you should probably just ignore this post. lol)

1 comment:

  1. I totally feel ya, sister. I've been out of work since October and I feel overwhelmed by all the free time. hehe.

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