Saturday, January 3, 2009

Random Ramblings

So I don’t really have anything to write about. I have been lazy lately and not keeping up with current events or the circus of American hoopla.

So here’s some random crap I’ve found in my partaking of joyful unemployment:

I don’t know if I’ve shared this video but it’s of Ricky Gervais’ standup “Animals.” It touches on the idea of creationism and it’s brilliant. I’ve always believed the most damning proof that religion is bullshit is the bible itself and his show touches on that.



Oh and I am totally stealing this from Bay of Fundie but I thought it was hilarious:

In-N-Out of the War on Christmas

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Two days ago, I went to In-N-Out Burger. Much to my horror, my hamburger came in the above wrapper. What do you notice printed on the wrapper? That’s right. That’s mistletoe, isn’t it? How unappetizing! There’s nothing like putting a poisonous plant on my food!

Wikipedia says: Mistletoe is a poisonous plant that causes acute gastrointestinal problems including stomach pain, and diarrhea…

OH! Well actually that explains the last time I went there! In fact, that must be what “In-N-Out” means. Most kids snicker at the implied double entendre, but apparently it just means that as soon as you eat it, it shoots out the other end.
Aside from that, what’s the second thing you notice about the wrapper? You nailed it again: Santa only has three reindeer. This shows how bad the economy is. Either Santa’s been downsizing to save money, or he’s so bad off financially that he had to eat the other five.

If you look hard enough, though, you will find a third thing wrong with the above wrapper. Look again, I’ll wait. … … … That’s right. It says “Seasons Greetings”. Can you believe that? That does it. I am massively offended. I’ll have to boycott them now. There’s supposed to be an apostrophe in front of that “s”! The greetings belong to this season. Not all seasons. Not every season. This season! The Christmas sea—
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blasphemers! Heathens!! Pagans!!! Dark siders!!!!

I’ll bet they’re secular humanists out to destroy our Christian country! I’ll bet they’re atheists out to promote their Darwinist agenda! I’ll bet they’re—

Oh, wait a minute. What’s this on the back?

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Well.

Don’t I feel foolish?

Apparently they’re just another Fundie Milk company. In fact, Wikipedia says:
In-N-Out prints discreet references to Bible verses on their paper utensils. … The practice began in the 1980s during Rich Snyder’s presidency, a reflection of the beliefs held by the Snyder family.

What this really tells us is that even many Bible-quote-pushing Christians think it’s OK to say something more inclusive than “Merry Christmas”.

I guess that deflates Bill O’Reilly.

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hehe...Someone in the comments pointed out that it's actually holly on the wrapper and not mistletoe but oh well. It turns out that they also put bible verses on the bottom of their cups. Maybe that’s why I never liked In-N-Out; their food is tasteless and disagrees with the digestive system of heathens.

On another note, I found the most bad ass place for cards at Bald Guy Greeting.

You know you’re gonna love a company when their “about us” section sounds something like this:
The idea behind Bald Guy Greetings is to offer the greeting card buyer a funny card that they actually find funny. We have nothing against sappy, overly sentimental cards. In fact, we love it when our grandmothers give us one. But we don’t want to have to look someone in the eye after handing them a card with pastel flowers on the front and a poem about a hummingbird inside. We want to give someone a card that looks and sounds like it’s coming from us.

And that’s exactly what Bald Guy Greetings is. A refreshingly honest, sometimes brutal, always sarcastic, but never the less very caring card.

A card company that tells it like it is.

LOVE these two:

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Inside:
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Inside:
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With cards like these, whoo needs Hallmark? Looking forward to some birthdays this year...

So that's it. Hopefully more interesting things come my way. lol

1 comment:

  1. i havnt seen that animals show for ages!! The whole thing is great. Not a mega fan of Ricky Gervais but i do enjoy his stand up!!!

    ReplyDelete

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