Monday, November 17, 2008

To Paint or Not to Paint

I am totally down right now. I just completely ruined another painting I loved. I know it happens and a lot of good things can come out of mistakes, but it is hard to see that right now. (Sometimes you can’t help feeling a certain way, even if your brain knows better.)

Moments like this make me wonder why I even do it. The whole reason I started painting was because I just felt like I had to, but why do I continue to do it? Even though I have gotten better in the last year, I know I still have a long way to go. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to show anyone until I get a good size collection but my heart knows better; I’m scared. I don’t want to be rejected and have all my doubts voiced by someone else.

I just don’t know.

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At least the panel I ruined was small and easy to replace. I had drawn the peace sign in sharpie so it will only take me a few minutes to redo. I also wasn’t completely happy with the shade of yellow I had chosen so I will probably change that. (Ahhh….is that the infamous silver lining coming out to play?)

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I also just finished this one. I am not too sure about it right now but we’ll see what happens. (I can be really fickle.)

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